is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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