I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
