Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
