There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
