we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
