I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Houston, we have a squirter
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
