The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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