You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Randomize
