I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
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