who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
return my video game
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Randomize
