There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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