I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Randomize
