I feel like I'm in dance class right now
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
