You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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