my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize