Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Randomize
