that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Randomize
