ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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