About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
