Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I'm really busy with my period
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