can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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