she told me i tasted like america
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
