and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
