The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
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