As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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