i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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