Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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