i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
