Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
