I accidentally had phone sex last night
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
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My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
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I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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