how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
