Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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