i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
