just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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