I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
