Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
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