I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
You may now shotgun with the bride
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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