go do what you do best...puke behind churches
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Panties = found
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