I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
