I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
