You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Randomize