there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
it's great music for shaving your balls
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
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