ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Randomize
