can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
