she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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