should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
whose parrot is this?
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Randomize
