This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Randomize