he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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