yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
