they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Blow job season was short but glorious.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
