the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I just blew my weed a kiss
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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