I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize