the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
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