I wish you could order shots online.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
