I hate all girls vehemently.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
