i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
He kissed a someone with a penis
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
