everyone is single if you try hard enough
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
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