I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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