"it" just moved
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
