if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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