JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
