Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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