in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
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