It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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