dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
